Yesterday was really good in terms of my social life. After work at 3pm I went home and changed super quick into my bathing suit (FINALLY a chance to wear my VS suit!) and then doused myself in sunscreen. Carmen was having the girls over at her dad’s house because he has a pool. I had never been there but had heard about her pool gatherings and her father’s notoriously strong margaritas. Heather, Carmen, Sheida and Eleanor were already a few rounds in by the time I got there. I refrained from drinking because later on that night I was going to David’s tequila party and I wasnt trying to push my limits on a “wednesday” afternoon. We basically layed out in the sun and gossiped. Apparently the girls were sufficiently drunk enough to start hollering at the baseball players who were playing on the Whitman field behind Carmen’s house. It was rather entertaining to hear Heather yelling, “Come over after the game for margaritas…and us! We are drunk! and we arent seventeen!” The nearest player to us kept laughing and was clearly loving the attention. One of his teammates asked if they were virgin margaritas and naturally Heather responded, “There aint nothing virginal over here boys!” bahahah. Absolutely ridiculous but also hilarious. I managed to not get burned whatsoever which is a true accomplishment for me. I love laying out in the sun because its so relaxing but I hate it because I always feel like I am burning and I realllly dont want a tan. I am rather fond of my pale skin that doesnt look all freckled and aged. The other girls were clearly burning and I eventually had to just spray them down for my own sanity hahah.

(more…)

Filed under: Personal by Miya
No Comments »

Funny how certain songs can take on whole new meanings hahah. Honestly this summer has been a good time for me musically. I REALLY want the Neon Trees CD and I have been meaning to pester my dad to see if I can get Prince and Hole from him. The other day I caught him listening to The Fame downstairs while he was doing his art projects hahah. I think I must have inherited his eclectic music tastes. Although I am suffering a bit from Live Music Withdrawl. Wouldnt mind going to see someone in concert soon. All of this costs money though and for some reason I have just been bleeding every paycheck. The past few summers, I do not recall having a difficult time building my savings, but this year its really been a struggle. Given I am leading a bit more extravagant lifestyle. Going out to dinner has suddently become a $20 event on average. Drinks add up too. And then there is my trip to Vegas which is stealing money from the Manchester fund. Hmmm… well ive put my spending on lockdown in terms of random materialistic shit that I dont need. Oh but I love to consume… hahah. SELF CONTROL.

I’ve been continuing my research into Manchester. Last night my mother and I spent a good amount of timing looking at plane tickets, possible accomodation options and we started talking about the end of the year plans. Very stressful and kind of exciting. I really need to go get a book on Manchester though and brush up on some history/touristy knowledge so that I dont get run out of town with my complete ignorance. And yes I am pretty much completely ignorant at this point.

Got to see my cousin recently. We went out for drinks in Ballard and he taught me how to appreciate the differences in beer. We ordered way too much food and watched the Sounders game at a place called the Loft. It was really chill and nice to catch up with him on things. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and I always appreciate his male perspective on the college dating scene. He’s got girls on his radar that he really respects and likes and he doesnt hook up with them. I find this to be very interesting and am constantly bringing it up with Carlene during our numerous boy talks.

In terms of my boy talks, I have no idea what to think anymore. Everything seems to be a bit muddled and I’m having trouble grasping the reality of the situation. Its nice to have someone to talk to and flirt with and make me excited, but I still have quite a few doubts. I am confident in his affection, but I am confused as to what he wants. I’m happy to continue what we are doing but as a planning freak I cant help but think about the future and wonder where this is all leading to. Yes I will be back spring semester and he is excited about that, but that wont be until January of 2011. That is a long ways off and I know a lot can happen in that time. I cant help but worry that this infatuation will fade on his end. I wish I could let my own feelings simmer down, but its not really in my nature to squash my passions. Hence why I always have so many on going obsessions and multiple outlets for expressing my devotions hahah. I guess I should stop being such a god damn cynic. When I talked to my mother about this she said, “yknow miya, this doesnt have to end badly at all. why dont you just enjoy it?” Wise words indeed. So I guess I should concentrate on the process and not the end result. Its true as well, that this could end totally fine. If anything I could retain an amazing friendship out of this… I just need to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. Although lets be hoenst, I dont think I am one of those girls who can be friends with ex’s. I just get so attatched! Little Miss Obsessive.

I guess the goal is the same: I need to keep pushing myself to meet new options and get over these fucking hang ups.

Filed under: Personal, School by Miya
1 Comment »

Here is my new tattoo! I got it done on Tuesday by Cindy at Slave to the Needle Wallingford. She was super sweet and so perky! I think she did an amazing job. It hurt like a bitch and took 2.5 hours to complete which made it very expensive as well. ooooer. Initially I couldnt see the painterly affect that she had done, but as its been healing the workmanship is really showing through and its absolutely beautiful! I am so pleased with it!!! Right now its in that flaky/itchy phase and its taking a lot of self control not to just rub the hell out of it hahah. I am going to get the twin crow on the right hip sometime in August when I can afford it.

Significance: So there is quite a few things going on here. Firstly, I think that crows can be depicted in quite a lovely way which contributes to its aesthetic value. I also really like how typically, crows are associated with death and other dark/morbid things. But in the ‘Counting Crows’ nursery rhyme, two crows are supposed to bring joy. My crows are twins and have the names Phobos and Deimos. Phobos and Deimos are the two satellites (moons) of Mars and in greek mythology they represented Fear and Dread. They would ride into battle with Aries in his war chariot. I found this totally bad ass. hahah. Since my zodiac sign is Aries, I have always had a natural affinity to that greek god and all the characteristics that follow it (birthstone, the planet mars, personality traits, element of fire, etc…). Its all very silly but it is an inherent part of me I think. Now for the real connection to bring it all together. Growing up, I was a HUGE Sailor Moon fan. It was tremendously influential and I will always have a soft spot in my heart for it. My favorite character was obviously Sailor Mars. I loved her sexy high heels and her feisty temper and mysterious status as a priestess and her interesting relationship with Sailor Moon. In the manga series, Rei has two pet crows to stave off her loneliness growing up. Later the crows reveal themselves to be Phobos and Deimos, her two little guardians that help her along in times of need. And so my tattoo(s) will be an eternal representation of my dorky fangirlness. I will obviously not tell everyone the whole story because a.) its long and b.) they would laugh at me. hahah. I dont give a fuck though. My tattoos are for me only and as long as I am happy with them, then I could give two shits what other people think.

Filed under: Personal by Miya
1 Comment »

Look! its B’s celebrity crush (Jessica Alba) and my celebrity crush (Jared Leto) at a fashion show together! hahah. Can we just take a moment to notice the distinct differences and how this reflects on our personalities and potential compatibility?

Going to get tattooed today! I am not nervous yet but I am sure I will get there. I gotta go take a run now but I am not sure how successful this will be since yesterday I got a really bad cramp in my left calf.

Filed under: Fashion, Personal by Miya
1 Comment »

You triflin’,good for nothing type of brother. Silly me,why haven’t I found another. A baller, when times get hard he’s the one to help me out
insted of, a scrub like you who don’t know what a man’s about

Excellent lyrics from Destiny’s Child’s song Bills, Bills, Bills which came on my shuffle today while shredding in the back room. Hahah. Not that this particularly applies to my current sitatution, but I find it a firm reminder not to get too caught up in my “independent woman” status. I dont want no scrub….

I got a tremendous amount done at work today which is why I am taking some time to write this post before lunch. I did my make up all vampy in honor of the holiday and in anticipation of potential plans tonight. I saw Eleanor on Friday and we had a huge goss fest where she filled me in on her awesome semester in London, her sprint through summer classes at Boston University and the awkward transition of summer in Seattle before she heads to Los Angeles to complete her degree. She gave me lots of pointers on England and definitely provided a better frame of reference in terms of what to expect about meeting people. Obviously she was in a completely different city and in a very different type of program (it was BU’s PR program in London so she was surrounded with other BU/American students), but it got me really excited about study abroad again. I took some time yesterday to email some more inquiries and get my paperwork organized. I also responded to Connie, one of the girls going to MMU with me. I am particularly intrested in knowing how her academic advisement with Prof. Gatto went since I STRUGGLED with it FOREVER and am STILL attempting to find classes from home. Further along, once we have established that I am not a creeper trying to be her new BFF I might ask where Connie and Adrianne are interested in traveling. Eleanor, Marissa and my sister did quite a bit of traveling after their semester’s had ended which makes sense. All three also studied in the Spring, so it was a natural kick off to summer. I will not have that luxury and as of now, I am not sure where I will be come Christmas 2010… It doesnt make sense to come back to Seattle for a week and then just fly back to NYC to start apartment hunting. Might as well cut Seattle out completely and just spend Christmas in NYC. Ideally, my parents could come travel a bit with me for christmas in Europe, but realistically, we cannot afford that. I am thinking I will just fly from Manchester to NYC and start looking for aparments and maybe spend Christmas with friends? or alone? Obviously that would be sad and bother me, but I am a strong girl and it would be worth it for all the other positives occurring this year. Its interesting to think that after August, I will probably be officially calling NYC my home.

Talked to Brett on the phone yesterday…. oh how I miss him!! He sounds like he is doing really well and having a good summer in the city. He’s been hanging out with a new little crew of gays and going out every weekend. I am super jealous and defintiely going through withdrawl. Its so jarring being thrown back and forth between west and east coast and between two completely different worlds. My gay/glam/fashion world and my casual/trashy/high school world. I think you can tell which location I would rather be in right now.

Filed under: NYC, Personal by Miya
1 Comment »

well… since my last post things have been resurrected with my obsession. I am vowing here and now, not to worry about it too much. I am also going to continue to try and push myself to get out there this summer and meet new guys, for practice. I need to overcome this anxiety I get when it comes to the “adult dating scene”. Since I am stuck in Seattle for the summer, i might as well make the best of it. Meanwhile I am going to continue to sext, flirt and generally obsess over B in nyc.

Last night I went to see Eclipse with the bestie. We got free preview tickets for spending $50 at Nordstrom (easily, easily done…. hahah). It all very efficient and once our theater was officially full, they started the movie. this worked perfectly because everyone was in their seats at 7:30pm and the movie wasnt supposed to start until 9pm!! there were definitely some diehards there and most everyone looked like they could be wearing something from the Brass Plum department at Nordstrom. This was definitely the best movie out of the series. The flashbacks were soooo well done and didnt look anything close to the corny, cheap shit that we were exposed to in the first movie hahaha. I must say though, I have found that I am far more attracted to Jacob in the movies. Since when have I become so into tanned, dark haired, muscle guys??? bahahahaha. i think I know when this started….

I am sooooooooo pleased because one of the girls going to MMU with me finally responded to my facebook message!! she apologized for taking so long to get back to me and was just generally friendly and open! I really appreciate this because it means that she wasnt just planning on ignoring my presence and traipsing off to Manchester with her bestie and leaving me behind. I am totally fine with functioning independently and meeting new people, but it would have definitely eased my stress to know someone ahead of time. I am still communicating with faculty members from both FIT and MMU to try and get my classes all picked out. Obviously, the prof who was supposed to be helping me with my international academic adviser failed me in every respect of his job and after meeting with him over a dozen times last semester, I am still stuck emailing all summer.

On Monday night, I went to see the Swedish film adaptation of one of my favorite books: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larssons. Its a difficult plot to describe and I sort of sum it up by saying its a crime novel, with very interesting characters that it really intelligently written. I definitely learned new things reading that book… I love that every five seconds they are drinking coffee. I dont know if that is a Swedish thing or the authors thing, but they consume SO MUCH coffee throughout the series. I just finished the second one and have started the third one now. They are fairly addicting and the lead female character, Lisbeth Salander, is so interesting and fucking bad ass. The strongest theme of the series is ‘men who hate women’. The movie was very graphic in terms of the rape scenes and the violence. I read a critique in Vanity Fair that basically said the author made things a bit too simple in terms of morality. There are your evil, women hating, raping, murdering, politically scheming, criminals and then there are your struggling, oppressed, good, citizens just trying to get by in this modern world. Hollywood is currently in the works of casting the American version of the film. Daniel Craig and Carey Mulligan are two names that are being thrown around. I think they would do an excellent job with it and that it could be a tremendous success here. It has all the elements of an intriguing well crafted hollywood thriller.

Today I want to go the gym, go to fred meyer and get some magazines and a new shower curtain, email the MMU staff, organize a dermatologist appointment, schedule a bang trim, clean my room and prepare to see Sheida and possibly my cousin tonight…. I also really need to get my jeans hemmed and could use a new pair of black slacks… Money is tight right now because my first session for my tattoo is scheduled on Tuesday! So excited!!!

Filed under: Movies, Personal by Miya
1 Comment »

Once more I have slunk back into my angry bitter self. My Break Up/Move On playlist is getting some heavy rotation this week. Ah well. Me, Myself and I. Thats all you got in the end. Thats what I find out. Every-god-damn-time. I am determined to use this to my advantage. Previously, when I determined that I should back off my infatuation I had trouble killing my feelings, but honestly, nothing murders my affection more than photographic evidence, ESPECIALLY recent photographic evidence. This combined with continual dishonesty has done a pretty decent job of hacking away at any emotional ties. I am not going to lie and say its completely severed. Those last few threads are totally mental and I will have to handle them, myself in the next few weeks. Talked to my girls about it and the general concensus is that he is le jerk and le fool. Carlene thinks I should just play this game right along with him since I have nothing to lose now. While this does sound like loads of fun, I am going to try really hard not to get too entrenched in game playing. its far too easy and seductive and might be more satisfying to blatantly ignore him for… well… the rest of life? Seriously, this isnt high school anymore, I dont have to see him ever again if I dont want to. Quite a comforting thought actually. And I have so many plans for the coming year (Vegas, Seattle friends, New York, Manchester, my last semester of college, graduation…). I will be relatively distracted. I am really trying to focus on breaking this bad habit of fear and anxiety around meeting new guys. I really ought to stop hiding/freaking out and just embrace it for what it is: practice.

I checked my layout on this crappy windows PC at my work, and I definitely need to tweak the CSS still. Not everyone is blessed with the superior functions of apple.

Filed under: Happa-Girl.net, Personal by Miya
1 Comment »

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Filed under: Personal by Miya
Enter your password to view comments.

I did NOT sleep well last night at all. This whole week has been a bit hellish for me. I have had the worst cramps in such a long time. It actually messes with my productivity at work. On friday, I left early because I was in so much pain. And believe me I have been popping that ibuprofen every three hours on the dot. Last night my mother was going to give me Vicodin but she thought it wouldnt let me sleep. Turns out I didnt get much sleep anyways. I was so tired and fell asleep at 9pm which is actually on the later side for me, but I was awoken by a call and voicemail from Slave to the Needle informing me that Cindy, my tattoo artist was stuck in Mexico due to a flight cancellation. Now I have to reschedule. I also noticed that I got a (probably drunk) text from nyc. There really is only one person in nyc who would say such a thing to me, but I have yet to hear a confirmation from him. <3 either way it pleases me greatly. Yesterday I saw an old high school crush stumbling drunkenly across the ballard bridge at 5:30 in the morning. I actually laughed out loud to myself because it was so ridiculous. 15th is kind of a main thoroughfare in Seattle. I wonder where his car or his girlfriend was? Ahhh how times have changed, for me at least. That is something I would have expected him to do a few years ago in high school, but not everyone moves on…

Filed under: Personal by Miya
No Comments »

I would like to begin this post with a massive *sigh*. That is an action I have been tweeting a great deal lately. I will explain by saying that my previous attempt at swearing off this infatuation, has ended quite quickly. I went about a week and then relapsed and now I am even deeper in it than before. I will not go into crazy details publicly, but will probably make a private post so that I can document the conversations, quotes and thoughts that have made me glow a bit inside. I like to be able to remember this feeling, since it is that rush of first love that is better than any high I have ever had….and that includes the medical cocaine I had right before my jaw surgery last summer.

Besides this new found light in my life, I have just been working my ass off at the clipper. Its nice to have a source of a constant income, something to keep my mind preoccupied and something to do for this summer. Time is moving rapidly, which is just how I want it!! I need it to be September already. This is the first summer that I have been super bummed that I am not in NYC. I find this extremely comforting because it only strengthens my decision to stay there after graduation. I love Seattle and it will always part of the definition of Miya, but right now, I belong in NYC. I have noticed all these little things this summer. All the houses in my neighborhood seem so huge and wealthy. There is nothing wrong with that of course! I just feel very blessed to have grown up here. A lot of my friends here appear to be in different places as well. I just feel a really big disconnect from their lifestyles and interests.

I am really excited to go to Las Vegas with Carlene the first week of August. That is going to be fucking crazy fun. I will have to struggle to reign her in and make sure she doesn’t run off with some dude and get married, but I think it will be the perfect little getaway filled with drinking, gambling and other sinful things hahah. I haven’t really been able to plan anything beyond that since nothing in regards to study abroad is set in stone. I haven’t been formally accepted or anything. I did friend and message the two other girls going to MMU with me, but they don’t seem to want anything to do with me. Which is a bit disappointing because it would be so much better if I were going with some girls who were willing to be friends, but ah well. I am perfectly capable of meeting new people and enjoying myself.

I have managed to have a bit of a social life on the side this summer. I have seen most of my girls here and there. I had such a good time with Olivia and I am soooo sad to see her go. She is one of my best friends and its just tough being separated for big chunks of time and we never know when we are going to see each other again. But I am so proud of her because she is pursuing a career that she really loves. I am so attracted to people who are passionate about something. I cannot imagine going through life without any direction…My blogs are always so melodramatic. It’s probably because I am a really melodramatic person underneath all this bitterness and sarcasm. It’s why I love movies like Day After Tomorrow and songs like Lips of an Angel. That ridiculous shit feeds my soul.

My tattoo consultation is on Sunday night. I am meeting with Cindy from Slave to the Needle in Wallingford. I wanted a female artist because I am getting the tattoos on my hips so it may require some nakedness in the process. Plus I like supporting women in industries such as this. Very empowering. I have quite a few reference images that I need to print out and then we will discuss size and she will draw it up for me and we will set up an appointment. I hope that she isn’t too booked up this summer, because I want to get this all done with before I leave. I also have a third tattoo planned that I could get done anytime since its very simple but extremely significant. I will definitely be posting pictures once they are done!!

Filed under: NYC, Personal by Miya
No Comments »