A decade later

Tonight was my ten year highschool reunion. Obviously I had no idea this photo was being taken. No lie I had to smoke a joint with my mom to take the edge off my nerves. Now that its over, I can say that I am really glad that I went. I caught up with a LOT of random people. And of course when everyone asked me “How was life in NYC?” I glazed over the details and said things were going well!! *BIG ASS SMILE* I wasnt about to say “Well there was this swede who showed me everything beautiful about life and then broke my heart and shortly thereafter my head broke too. I almost killed myself overdosing on perocet and had to be hospitalized and go to rehab for three months. But like things are chill now.” 

Christabel and i were joking about Romy and Michele’s Highschool Reunion and I reenacted the scene where  Elaine Hendrix (playing a vogue editor) shuts down the popular girls snarky remarks by commending Romy and Michele’s outfits. Yassss life goals achieved. 

AE waved me over for a hug and then introduced me to his girlfriend. She also went in for a hug and said I had commented something nice on one of her facebook pictures. “We’re basically best friends already!” I gushed only semi ironically. AE laughed at the absurdity of the situation (or maybe he was hoping she and I would start making out?) I should have been suave enough to wink at him but im too washed up for that shit now. 
Eleanor did show up and was really drunk and refused to pay for the drink tickets and food and everything. Bizarrely tacky. Not sure what the hell was going on there. One of the most eccentric guys at my school started eyeing me up like he all of a sudden realized I existed. He doesnt have long green hair anymore but he still dresses like a human Ann Rice novel, complete with his signature top hat. Sure enough I just got a facebook friend request from him. Sighhhhh. Still completely oblivious as always. 
In other news: Dear god…. I know I really fucked up my life and made so many bad decisions…. but I swear I will not pick up drugs again if you let me sleep with a man who can dance like this:  

NNNNNNnnnfffffffff!!! I might die if Im not impregnated by Jungkook, J-Hope or Jimin.  (Did I just admit that out loud?!) 😳 Jungshook is looking so fucking FINE in that grey button down practicing so hard and singing along to Chris Brown. Im even fine with some of the cheesy magic mike parts of this choreography because they make it look so gooooooood. 

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