Tonight I did the community service activity for the I Love New York Club. Four of us went to babysit while the moms got to do craft night. It was basically everything I was expecting. It was such a good experience and sure enough it ended with me bouncing an adorable black baby named Miasia on my lap. Fox House Women’s Shelter is located on 117th between Park and Lexington which isnt necessarily the nicest neighborhood in Manhattan, but everyone was super nice. I was surprised because I knew there would be kids (obviously…) but I wasnt expecting there to be SO many babies and SO many expecting moms! Pretty much everyone was pregnant, in labor or had just given birth. It was crazy! and some of these ladies were YOUNG, I am not sure how young because I wasnt sitting there quizzing them on their life stories, but it was just really crazy to realize these young women are single mothers AND homeless on top of everything. Everyone was wearing old sweats and the craft of the night was bedazzling baseball hats with crystal letters. So sweet to see these ladies bedazzle a hat with three letters on it: Mom. Miasia’s mother was really nice about my inexperience with babies. She showed me how she feeds and burps Miasia and let me hold her for pretty much the whole time. I am fairly confident I do have a maternal instinct that hasnt fully surfaced in me yet. Norma once pointed out that she always thought of me as maternal when it comes to my friends, which I would agree with because I do want the best for everyone. I am still really confident in my early decision to avoid pregnancy and alt for adoption. I know the adoption process is expensive, challenging and difficult, but I think the result is so resoundingly important. My motto: there are enough babies in the world. Or even better, if there were a way for me to help young mothers like tonight, I would LOVE that because I could contribute to several people’s lives as opposed to just focusing on my needs. I cant get over this nasty feeling that having children is incredibly selfish. Anyways those are just some thoughts for tonight. Katie and I talked about babies and kids for a bit on the subway ride back and its interesting to hear my peers getting closer to that life stage of wanting to settle down and be married and have kids. I feel SO far from that. I cannot even picture myself committing to anything bigger then an apartment.

Filed under: Personal by Miya