A decade later




Tonight was my ten year highschool reunion. Obviously I had no idea this photo was being taken. No lie I had to smoke a joint with my mom to take the edge off my nerves. Now that its over, I can say that I am really glad that I went. I caught up with a LOT of random people. And of course when everyone asked me “How was life in NYC?” I glazed over the details and said things were going well!! *BIG ASS SMILE* I wasnt about to say “Well there was this swede who showed me everything beautiful about life and then broke my heart and shortly thereafter my head broke too. I almost killed myself overdosing on perocet and had to be hospitalized and go to rehab for three months. But like things are chill now.” 



Christabel and i were joking about Romy and Michele’s Highschool Reunion and I reenacted the scene where  Elaine Hendrix (playing a vogue editor) shuts down the popular girls snarky remarks by commending Romy and Michele’s outfits. Yassss life goals achieved. 

AE waved me over for a hug and then introduced me to his girlfriend. She also went in for a hug and said I had commented something nice on one of her facebook pictures. “We’re basically best friends already!” I gushed only semi ironically. AE laughed at the absurdity of the situation (or maybe he was hoping she and I would start making out?) I should have been suave enough to wink at him but im too washed up for that shit now. 
Eleanor did show up and was really drunk and refused to pay for the drink tickets and food and everything. Bizarrely tacky. Not sure what the hell was going on there. One of the most eccentric guys at my school started eyeing me up like he all of a sudden realized I existed. He doesnt have long green hair anymore but he still dresses like a human Ann Rice novel, complete with his signature top hat. Sure enough I just got a facebook friend request from him. Sighhhhh. Still completely oblivious as always. 
In other news: Dear god…. I know I really fucked up my life and made so many bad decisions…. but I swear I will not pick up drugs again if you let me sleep with a man who can dance like this:  

NNNNNNnnnfffffffff!!! I might die if Im not impregnated by Jungkook, J-Hope or Jimin.  (Did I just admit that out loud?!) 😳 Jungshook is looking so fucking FINE in that grey button down practicing so hard and singing along to Chris Brown. Im even fine with some of the cheesy magic mike parts of this choreography because they make it look so gooooooood. 



Kiki day and street harassment

Its getting increasingly more hot this week. Luckily I was able to escape to a Kirsten Dunst movie marathon, hosted by Charlie in an air conditioned apartment on the Upper East Side. They were watching five films in total today: The Virgin Suicides, Wimbledon, Jumanji, Dick and Bring It On. Charlie even made an adorable little program listing the order of the movie and designated food breaks. Surprise, surprise I ended up wearing a very casual, all J.Crew outfit. The tee is actually mens but I liked the color and it was so soft and comfy!

I have come up with a pretty obvious fashion rule for myself. If my tattoo is showing, then the shorts are definitely too short. 😉 I really only have one pair of shorts where its an actual issue. They are high waisted and almost look like a skirt with a white heart pattern. I wore them yesterday and had a bit of a problem with the amount of commentary on the streets. It doesn’t even matter what I am wearing though. I swear to god, the shittier I look, the more remarks I rack up. Having encountered this sort of harassment since I was about 13 years old, I am pretty much used to it, but it doesnt mean I am okay with it. Its utterly ridiculous that I feel the need to cross the street to avoid groups of guys. Or that I will consciously not wear something because I really dont feel like dealing with creepers that day. Fuck I hate men sometimes. The best way to avoid it is to put on my Ray Bans and red headphones and just block them out completely. As I have mentioned before, this was never an issue in Manchester, which I find most curious. Yet girls were also getting raped left and right.

Who remembers this fun note, that I found in my dorm at MMU? This was the 10th assault incident that term?! Terrifying. I think I am way safer in NYC then in Manchester. I could go on and on about this…. and how its funny that the average guy doesn’t understand it at all either. They have no idea what its feels like.

Emo-tional

I don’t know wtf is going on with my hormone levels or if I am just losing my mind but today is just what of those days where I need to limit any permanent damage through isolation. Weirdly I just heard one of those stupid stoner boys fall down the stairs and it kind of cheered me up a little. But then again I am enraged that they are disregarding the numerous police complaints and continuing to annoy the fuck out of me. No you arent funny or bad ass or a good rapper or a resident of my building so please go away.

Anyways, Lesley is doing her make up in the next room because she is about to do a skype interview with a fashion company in LA for a knitwear design position. So exciting!! And then I have my two big interviews tomorrow and wednesday. Another big event for this wednesday: my parents are flying in for my graduation which is on the 24th. I stupidly didnt request any days off work this week so I have my regular 8 hr shifts thurs-sun which means I probably wont even get to see them that much. Luckily they know how to entertain themselves. My dad will show up with his shorts, socks up to the knees, backpack and massive rebel xt strapped around his neck looking like the most prepared tourist ever. He’ll probably take a picture of one of those cart dudes as a reference for a future painting and get his ass kicked….again. You think he would learn that men who sell shit out of shady carts on the streets of nyc do not appreciate being photographed….ever.

I still need to think of a place to go for graduation dinner with my parents and my wifey…. Vegetarian, accommodating of four people, and tasty are the above requirements. Hmmmm…. It really hasnt even hit me that I am about to graduate. Now that I am finally here, it doesnt seem as significant. Graduating from high school was a very weird experience. At the time, it felt like I was never ever going to get out or get away from those people. I dont think my actual life really began until I started college. Dear god its disturbing to think about how much I have changed since then. I was going to do a little photo montage just now, but my archaic Photoshop CS2 is just too frustrating to handle right now. *temper temper miya* That’s definitely on my list of things to upgrade once I get a salary.

Where to start?

Shit…. it’s been far too fucking long. Instead of trying to catch up on what has been happening the past few months, I am going to just focus on what is happening presently.

My graduation is near and I am both ambivalent and scared shitless. I keep trying to articulate my confusion to various people, but I dont think I have come up with anything eloquent. I feel like my transition into the workplace will go very smoothly. After all, I have a ton of work experience in several different industries and I know I thrive under that structured, full time setting. I am not so much worried about that, but I just really dont want my head to go to mush. I need to keep working towards something….some distant goal of self improvement, otherwise I think I’ll just become extremely shallow and vapid (as opposed to my current state of moderately shallow and vapid). I dont want to become that girl whose entire life is work. Yes, my career is very important to me, but I am NOT 100% accepting of the American stereotype that your occupation defines you. Gotta keep thinking on this one.

Continue reading “Where to start?”