Styling for boy bands

Please see below as evidence of how young men should be styled to be as attractive as possible:

From the Snow app (Korea’s version of snapchat)

Uuunnnnnfffff…. Ive been lost in a deluge of sexy korean boys. I told my mother to tell my grandmother that I will be marrying a korean guy, and she said “I will do no such thing as she will drop dead on the spot!” My grandmother comes from a time when Japan was trying to take over Korea…. aka shes kinda racist. Obviously, I have this obsessive side to my personality (Hello disease of addiction!) Once I get high off something, be it drugs, love or BTS, I cant seem to monitor my intake. I even spent an absurd amount of money in ktown on BTS albums and this incredible G-Dragon art book.

BTS comeback was on Monday and it was kind of amazing. The MV for DNA got 21 million views in a 24 hour period which is the most of any kpop artist.Their album was reviewed in the New York Times and today it was announced that they are the FIRST kpop group to break into the Billboard top 10! I am literally so pleased to have joined ARMY. While I had a ridiculous amount of time on my hands in Seattle I downloaded this BTS ARMY app and have started chatting with international fans. Most everyone is 15 years old which is truly humiliating for me (believe me I know how pathetic it is for a 28 year old grown ass woman to be in a fan chat room for a boy band), but I did manage to find a group of older girls. We’ve started chatting each other every day and its been sweet getting to know them. Two of the girls are from Germany, one is from Virginia, and the other is from Yemen. Raihanna (girl from Yemen) talks about the bombs going off and her house shaking. Its insanity. I think that kpop is also an escape for her. She might be muslim, but girl has no shame in her attraction to these boys hahahahah. There are some human urges that are universal no matter where you live.

So imagine my disappointment when I watched BTS super concert on Inkigayo today and to my horror I realized that their stylist made a terrible choice for Namjoon:


Is this a joke?! I think I was in denial for a good 20 minutes. Maybe they forgot to put the ‘e’ on the end? It could have been a bad translation?! Then I realized that my eyes were not deceiving me and that I was witnessing yet ANOTHER example of korea and japan waving their ignorance flag loud and proud. Im sincerely offended. The sweater is from a Japanese designer named Christian Dada and its around $600. There was no mistranslation. This is just tasteless and insensitive. I wonder if they would have made Namjoon wear that stupid sweater if South Korea had 64,000 deaths from drug overdoses?? How would they feel if their precious idols were suddenly dropping dead left and right?
Or blowing their brains out from the insanity of drug addiction? Who cares as long as we are cute and edgy right?!? Im really upset about this. For the past few weeks, BTS has been a refuge for me. Why the fuck do kpop/jpop get put into these fucked up situations. Stop perming their hair into afros or making them wear cornrows and doo rags. Stop taking african art and making it into a silly dancing accessories for singing girls. Stop diminishing the opiate epidemic into nothing more than a fashion statement. This isnt going to make me stop stanning BTS, but I do wish their record label BigHit Entertainment would cop to their mistake and fire the stylist. Is it weird that I dont really blame Namjoon? Fuck, their first week of promo has been an insane schedule. They are running on 2 hours of sleep everyday. TV performance after TV performance. Choreo after Choreo. Outfit change after outfit change. Im sure he doesnt even know what he’s wearing at this point. Ugh, I’m so bummed. 😔

EDIT: Since I was taking a break from BTS, I decided to watch some behind the scenes shit from G-Dragon’s coup d’etat album which was recorded in 2013. See below:

Am I in some sort of ignorant conspiracy?!? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!

Christmas 2016

Considering I’ve been so bored. I really have done quite a bit this holiday season. Here’s a brief recap that is much more comprehensive then my other socials.


The marketing department developed their own snapchat filter that was actually kind of gorgeous. Since Im in creative/marketing, we had a little office party with breakfast celebrating the release. There was a little animation of a sleigh shooting across your face with the words ‘Slay’ in neon. Very cute idea.

The marketing/creative department holiday party is always way better than the company christmas party. I actually quite love my team. Laura is from Kentucky and Marija is from Serbia. So between the three of us we have vastly different accents which is kinda cute. Marija is due to have her baby boy in March!! She is such a martyr and workaholic that she swears she isnt going to take her full maternity leave. Rhoda and I keep telling her thats ridiculous and she will want time off to rest and bond with her child. When Marija first told me she was pregnant, I had a very odd reaction in my head: “Our team is having a baby! I gotta be strong and stay clean because we will need to support her!!” How odd that I never felt a sense of responsibility to my friends or family when I was popping pills, but Marija getting knocked up motivated me to show up for her. My therapist says that is just an example of the madness behind addiction.

Gah! I miss the muffin so much!! I know she is technically Bailey’s cat, but she legit loves me! Im teaching her to become a lapcat so we can snuggle and watch netflix in the living room. I took a red eye out of JFK on the 19th. It was the first time I realized how obnoxious it is to be a smoker and fly. I like to get to the airport ridiculously early because I get so much anxiety from traveling, but I had to dilly dally outside the terminal and smoke three cigarettes manically in the freezing cold before going through security. Can you believe that smoking used to be allowed on airplanes?! The very idea is hilarious to me.

I’ve spent a lot of time at my grandparents apartment in the ID (International District of Seattle), since my mom is taking care of them full time. I never saw this picture of myself with Jiji and my cousins at my great uncle Akira’s grave. He died in World War II. My aunt must have sent this to my grandparents. Here is Baba reading my copy of Nylon Japan. Damn, the Japanese are so forward when it comes to fashion. See below for beret inspo (remember when wisconsin sarah made fun of me for wanting a beret. She really became such an asshole in the end of our relationship….) and I swear to god those big voluminous pants from the late 90’s will totally make a comeback in the states.

Vietnamese food at Green Leaf with mummyko. My parents and I watched this awesome documentary about the forgotten soul/funk sound of Seattle in the seventies. This city really had a rich musical history pre grunge. We also watched a unique film on Janis Joplin. Kind of uncomfortable watching the story of a fatal overdose with my parents who are well aware that their daughter was about two seconds away from a similar ending….

Speaking of my addiction, my sister is finally speaking to me again. She went to a few Al Anon meetings and learned all about codependency and detachment which I believe she over zealously applied to our relationship. I get that my addiction put a huge amount of stress on Aimee and she couldnt process her emotions, but I do not think that refusing to speak to me for almost a year really helped me pull myself out of my scary depressive episode. It was just another reminder that I really cant count on my sister for anything. At least Yuko was sweet and soft. Now that I live with Lavendar, I havent been obsessing about Yuko very much. Aimee did set up an instagran account in his honor. Its called Mister Yuko. Yuko is traditionally a feminine name in Japanese, but I like to think of cats as gender fluid hahah.

Wifey and I met up in Ballard for brunch at a restaurant called Skillet. Then we wandered around Ballard Ave and studied the new bourgie boutique retail scene in our old stomping grounds. Ballard used to be solidly blue collar. There was a pleasant scruffiness to it mixed in with odd Scandinavian influence. Well gentrification certainly changed that. The strip club near our highschool, Sands, looks completely out of place now. I did find this amazing tee shirt featuring a hypothetical Warren/Obama campaign. Also found this prayer candle dedicated to St. Mia [Wallace of Pulp Fiction]. On the other side is a heart with a giant needle sticking through it and the words ‘the revived’ in script. I thought it was relevant. After shopping around a bit, Riley and I met up with Lyle and Matt at a bar and played chess and chit chatted. Then we randomly drove down to the beach Golden Gardens, took a few rainy day pictures and headed back to Matt’s house for tea and pecan pie. Actually Im the only one who ate pecan pie but thats beside the point. It was great to see my wifey and her bf. They seem so comfortable and happy together. Lyle is halfway through law school!! Matt just finished his masters in WA DC, in a field relating to renewable energy. Seeing as how he’s always been a career student, his resume sounds totally killer with all these awards for competing in international energy policy proposals! Like damn, Matt is basically my brother and Im so proud of him!!!

I also paid a visit to my Aunt’s house in Gig Harbor. My father technically owns half of that property and even though its really run down, its actually a beautiful view of Burley Lagoon. My aunt is currently part of a community task force fighting against a huge commercial shellfish farming company that is trying to take over the lagoon and essentially kill off the current eco system. Its kind of a shit show. Her orange cats name is Rollo and hes kind of feral and just wandered into the house randomly so my aunt adopted him. We dont really touch him though because he bites people… HARD. But then he just randomly jumped up on my dad and sort of settled down to sleep on him and my dad just froze and couldnt move. Twas quite funny actually. My parents relationship with my aunt is kind of awkward and tense. There is a lot of suppressed resentment on both sides. I try to be kind and spend some time with my Aunt since she is essentially alone, in her 80’s in a house that she cant maintain on her minimal social security check. All she has is her dog and cat. And sadly, her dog passed away the day after I visited. She is totally heartbroken and Im kind of shocked. The dog had some sort of cancer and I knew he was on a bunch of pain medication (ironically one of the meds I used to take for opiate withdrawal), but he had seemed totally functional and alert and comfortable when my dad and I were visiting!! My sister really needs to go out and visit my aunt. Its ridiculous. She lives in Seattle yet she completely ignores our family.

Yesterday I visited the Seattle Art Museum with my father. We went to see the Yves Saint Laurent exhibit which was really cool. I would like to note that fashion exhibitions are always the most crowded in every museum, in every city ive been to. I think people find clothing to be very relatable. I particularly enjoyed noticing bits from the vintage pieces that Hedi Slimane resurrected for his collections at Saint Laurent from 2012-2016. Above is a perfect example with the lips print! My dad is so cute. He takes so many pictures of the paintings and sketches and posts them on facebook for his friends to see. The security guard yelled at him because his focus beam was accidentally turned on and neither of us had noticed. I wanted to tell the guard to fuck off and leave my poor dad alone. Afterwards, we walked to the blind man in the post office who sells lotto tickets so my dad could try for a $500k pot that was still up for grabs. My dad is convinced that some of the more obscure stores in Seattle might still have the rare tickets for sale hahah.

After the museum I went to Oxbox, which is the crossfit gym, my sister works at part time. It was my first time trying crossfit and holy shit, I was DYING by the end of the workout. First we spent a good thirty minutes, warming up with bear crawls and learning thruster techniques. Then I had to do a circuit of 15 air squats, 12 kettlebell single arm raises, 9 push ups and 6 pull ups as many times as possible in 15 minutes. Aimee showed me how a beginner does pull ups using these heavy duty rubberbands, but after practicing a few times I was like “Hell no! Someone show me another option NOW!” Pretty sure that my foot was about to go shooting forward and I was going to crack my skull on the ground hahaha. So I got to do six of these modified pull up things that still worked my chest and shoulder blades. I did the first circuit and was panting heavily, tongue lolling out the side of my mouth to look up at the clock and realized it had only been five minutes. FUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK! My quads were on FIRE. But I struggled through three rounds of the circuit even though my legs were trembling like jelly. Taking barre and yoga every week is not really doing much for my stamina. I need to start incorporating kickboxing into my weekly routine and throw in some random running here and there too. Maybe that will be one of my goals for 2017….

Aimee and I showered at the gym and walked down to the ID to meet my parents for hot soup at the Boiling Point. The restaurant is so popular that we had to wait for around 30 min just to get a table. Their whole schtick is that they bring you the soup in a mini wok set on a live burner so it stays hot and continues cooking at your table. I got the Japanese Miso broth which was just filled with so much crap it looked like the kitchen sink. I barely made a dent in that meal because there was so much food. This little asian couple next to us ordered a soup each and then ordered extra ramen noodles, extra hard boiled eggs, extra beef, and extra shumai on the side to add in as they steadily ate through their dinner. I wanted to stay and see how this couple could possibly eat all of that food, but alas the line was surging forward at the door and we were hustled out pretty quick by the staff.

Anyways, I didnt even mention the time Ive been spending with Carlene. I adore that girl so much. She brings so much joy and fun and lightness into my being. Her ex is going through a really difficult time right now: bipolar manic episode that landed him in rehab. I told her that if he ever wants to talk to someone who has been through something similar, I’m always here to chat. I also brought my motehr to her first NA meeting on capitol hill. It reminded me more of the meetings I went to in New Jersey, but the fellowship is not as strong as my home group. I’m so spoiled with bleecker. There is a reason that addicts from all over the world visit my home group. Its notoriously incredible. My mother remarked that the meeting was exactly what she thought it would be like. At least no one was high during the meeting! This was kind of an insane update, but I figured I should do a thorough recap of my december. Its the last day of 2016 and my legs are so sore from crossfit that I can barely walk. Im ready for tomorrow.