I am finally adding a new category to happa-girl.net: BOOKS!!! Also if anyone has an account on Goodreads, then you should add me as your friend!!! Chillee and Carmen have been giving me really great ideas to add to my massive ‘To Read’ list!
I just finished Never Have I Ever: my life (so far) without a date today on the train. This part is from the epilogue and is easily my favorite part of the whole book:
So it happens more often as I get older that I realize I live in a girl bubble of my own making. (Guys pass by on the outside, like ghost shadows, and sometimes I see a really hot one, but I avoid going out there if at all possible.) And I really do love it in here. It’s insular and comfortable and all of the people I love best are inside, and there are days, especially whenever I find new girls that I love and bring them in here with us – non creepily – I’m so happy I can’t imagine feeling like there’s something else I’m, supposed to be looking for. I worry that you wont believe me, but maybe thats only because someones been telling me single girls are trying and failing to be happy and I listened too closely even though I said I wasnt hearing it. (Single Girls: What Will We DO about Them?)
Here I have to fight the urge to get up on a soapbox and yell – I’m imagining me sneering the way Beyonce does, looking killer in sunglasses like Hilarry Clinton – and say that I dont need or even want some MAN because I am a FEMINIST, goddammit, and that traditional romance is a tool of the patriarchy, and its only women who are told (and who tell each other) that everyone deserves a chance, and that it’s not my job to be a welcoming mat for dudes I dont even know, and that the pressure to make guys everything is intentional and is placed on girls so that we have less attention left to pay to everything else, and I want a crown that says Queen Bitch on it, and that I would love it if every girlfriend broke up with her boyfriend and joined the rest of us in an army whose job is to have a massive, girls only, Robyn-soundtracked dance party for peace until, somehow – I havent worked out the details – global warming is reversed and poverty eradicated. Also everyone’s clothes look just perfect.
She goes on to discuss that despite everything though she does indeed want to fall in love eventually. And while her life is not defined by her experiences with men and she has always found an unshakeable confidence in being single, she does hope to find romance. I think that I am different from the author primarily in that seeking love and learning from my experiences has always been an important part of me. I am reminded of that quote in Before Sunrise:
“I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?”
Anyway’s thats all for tonight. xoxo